I have a friend who’s been married to his wife for 10 years. She would think herself feisty (yuk) and possibly an independent woman. He fell in love with her and I think enjoyed being her rock and being relied upon as she struggles with depression and possibly bipolar on and off. I also personally find her difficult to gel with and confrontational.
Currently he’s feeling fed up as he helped fund her through a masters when their kids were young, they’re now 5yo twins who attend a Steiner private school despite her being a vocal socialist. And he’s still being the rock, taking the kids off by himself to give her time, breakfast in bed etc but he wants to start his own business and at the moment cannot.
I can’t help thinking his original attraction to being the relied upon one is coming apart a bit as he’s realising that actually it’s just hard work.
I defer far too much I feel, although my oh would probably say otherwise